Fragments

It has been a long time since I had last dreamed of her.

Last night however she was here, she came to spend the night with me. But, I was so busy working and worrying about shoes, make up, and other silly things in life, I didn’t notice she was there, until saw her from a distance, she wasn’t well, fragile and sick, very much like when I last saw her on real life.

I came as quick as I could, and help her to lay down in this bed, I cover her with a blanket and lied close by her, cuddling tidy as I was did when we used to share a bed in the past. Present and past was kind of mixup together.

She had tears in her eyes, and told me:

- I love you so much, that hurts here inside.

- I know mum! – I answer. – I love you too!

We talk and talk, about the cancer, the chemotherapy, the fight for survive… I said her she would be fine…

Then she asked me why I said to her not to fight. I explained I never meant it, I didn’t want her to sacrificed herself once again just because me or my brother. But, I wish she fight for herself, she fight because she want to be alive to see her grand children, to play with them, to be so much loved.

Silence, I felt she was going, not before laid her face on my tummy, touching gently the huge scar from the operation, I could feel her tears in my skin, and the last words wasn’t exactly spoken, but heard somehow, like wisped in my ears:

- I will see my grand children through your eyes, I always be with you!

I woke up with this words, but not totally aware the was only a dream, I could feel her presence was still there, and I was crying and spoke aloud:

- Why you have to go? I am missing you so much! I wish you were here with me. It soon will be my birthday, please just stay?

No answer, only a voice inside me: “I am part of you, as you are part of me” “Everywhere I am there YOU WILL BE”.

“In my dreams
I’ll always see your soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For you for all my life
I’ll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you’ll be
and everywhere i am
there you’ll be”