everywhere I am there you’ll be
I know is a old post, but it is Mothers’ Day, and I can’t stop thinking about her!
—
[November/2007]
It has been a long time since I had last dreamed of her.
Last night however she was here, she came to spend the night with me. But, I was so busy working and worrying about shoes, make up, and other silly things in life, I didn’t notice she was there, until saw her from a distance, she wasn’t well, fragile and sick, very much like when I last saw her on real life.
I came as quick as I could, and help her to lay down in this bed, I cover her with a blanket and lied close by her, cuddling tidy as I was did when we used to share a bed in the past. Present and past was kind of mixup together.
She had tears in her eyes, and told me:
- I love you so much, that hurts here inside.
- I know mum! – I answer. – I love you too!
We talk and talk, about the cancer, the chemotherapy, the fight for survive… I said her she would be fine…
Then she asked me why I said to her not to fight. I explained I never meant it, I didn’t want her to sacrificed herself once again just because me or my brother. But, I wish she fight for herself, she fight because she want to be alive to see her grand children, to play with them, to be so much loved.
Silence, I felt she was going, not before laid her face on my tummy, touching gently the huge scar from the operation, I could feel her tears in my skin, and the last words wasn’t exactly spoken, but heard somehow, like wisped in my ears:
- I will see my grand children through your eyes, I always be with you!
I woke up with this words, but not totally aware the was only a dream, I could feel her presence was still there, and I was crying and spoke aloud:
- Why you have to go? I am missing you so much! I wish you were here with me. It soon will be my birthday, please just stay?
No answer, only a voice inside me: “I am part of you, as you are part of me” “Everywhere I am there YOU WILL BE”.
“In my dreams
I’ll always see your soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For you for all my life
I’ll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you’ll be
and everywhere i am
there you’ll be”
![Explorer [only a fool would believe] Me!](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3453/3404695973_33a5b87beb_s.jpg)
November 19th, 2009 at 11:24 am
There is always hope. And that one, no one can take it from you ?.
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November 19th, 2009 at 11:25 am
erm, that ‘question mark’ was suppose to be a heart, but there you go.
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November 19th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Beautiful words Ale…This mix of sadness will be in your heart.
Recently, my dad was gone. Cancer again.., and everyday I miss him. It’s so difficult for me to understand that nothing will be as before.
Kisses and congrat’s for this beautiful (and sad) words!!
[Reply]
November 19th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
E assim os filhos vivem nos pais… e os pais nos filhos… eternamente!
[Reply]
November 19th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Delma,
I don’t really know what to say! I am so sorry to hear. Honest I start crying when I read you comment. I hope you are well!! All my love! Big Kiss!
[Reply]